I need

When you’re totally okay with yourself, alone. Then, you can have a mate.
Diving into a marriage because you need “something” isn’t the wisest way to enter into a lifetime covenant.

As a family counselor here are some of the reasons I’ve heard why people get married :

“I just wanted to be married.”
“I want companionship.”
“I need someone to take care of me.”
“I don’t want to be alone.”
“The kids need a father/mother.”
“All my friends are getting married.”

Your reasons are your reasons, you own them and its your right to draft justifications for your life choices. The question is, will your reasons for getting married hold up over time? Not just for you, but for the person you snagged to fulfill your need?

If you’re single, separated, widowed or divorced and you’re contemplating marriage, please ask yourself why. Then check your answer that it’s not solely for what you need. There is another person to consider.

Why not ask yourself: How would joining my life with this person compliment who they are? Please say you can make a list of at least three reasons why marrying you could benefit your prospective partner. And lastly, show them the list to see if they agree. It’s important that the two of you have a mutually beneficial agreement upfront.

If the reasons for your union are too inequitable coming out of the gate, it may really cost you unnecessary heartache down the line. Start smart, start informed, be fair… Both of you. Doing so will give your marriage a fair chance. #Counsel4Living

Coming Soon: One A Day Nuggets For Success

Counsel4Living The App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.Counsel4Living&hl=en


Music feeds the soul. What’s in your diet?

What songs move you?

Year end clearance

It’s the last month in this calendar year? Have you reviewed your efforts, projects and relationships? Are they serving you? Do they serve anyone else? What’s the yield, outcome or dividend? Will you commit more energy to them?

It’s not too late! Take some time to assess and make adjustments as needed. Let’s finish well :) IMG_1126


It’s not free!

Everything will cost you something. Maybe not in dollars and cents, but that life choice you’ve made comes at a cost. If it doesn’t cost you in energy expended, you’ll have to sacrifice something. If you don’t sacrifice, you may have to swap one amenity for another. Inevitably, there will be a significant role to play associated with your choice.

So choose wisely and count the cost. #Counsel4Living

What’s that scent?

Yesterday I bought Frasier fir wreaths to hang on lamp posts in front of my home. I carefully selected four “good ones” decorated with red velvet bows and placed them in the trunk of my car. When I got home my husband put them up right away. Now, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our house!

Today, as I’m driving, there’s a distinct Christmas tree scent filling the car. It’s leftover from yesterday’s purchase. What an unexpected aromatherapy treat! imageCelebrate the simple things today, with joy.   #Counsel4Living

Coming Soon: One A Day Nuggets For Success

Rough patch?

Are you experiencing a rough patch? In your relationship, at the job? financially? Do what you can do, then buckle your seat belt to ride it out.

It will pass… One way or another, it will pass. So take courage, and ride it out.

Need someone to talk to? Reach out here, I’ll respond :).  #Counsel4Living


Ok, ok, okay!

Do you remember your kids saying that when you attempted to wake them for school? Or maybe that was you this morning when the alarm clock rang.

Well, it’s Monday and though it’s typically challenging to get going after a long holiday weekend, thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph. Calibrate your mind, adjust your attitude, and let’s do this!

Oh yeah! Today, after all the thanksgiving festivities, it’s a good day to choose fruits and veggies over pastries 😉.